I have weekly guilty pleasure which is gossip girl haha (I know I sound like a high schooler, right?) it's not the storyline of the show I am so fond of but the recap from New York Magazine. The New York Magazine has their own reality index. What is the reality index? Well basically after each episode aired the previous night the next morning they create assessment about how close the show to reality by giving points for real enough stuff on the show and deducting points for the not so real stuff...I must told you if You have been watching the show long enough like me, you will laugh your ass off.
Here is some example :
Season I
- Real Points
- Nate says to his mother : " You look at the floor every time someone tries to tell you the truth." So Waspy and realistic ! We even do that. Plus 2 Oh and later, when Blair asks Nate to tell the truth about whether he loves her, HE LOOKS AT THE FLOOR. Plus 5 for a subtly repeated trope! I learned it from watching you,Mom!
nate's looking at the floor
- They do very well with awkward teenager conversations in this episode. Blair and Nate's awkward get-back-together conversation seems very real (the fact that it's over the phone makes it even more real). When Blair asks Chuck if he likes her, he replies, "define like." Which is something that every single human, including President Clinton on national television, has said at one time or another. The best depiction, though, was the series of drunken revelations of insecurity late at night between Serena and Vanessa. If that hasn't happened to you, you aren't a girl. Or a gay. Plus 5, with an added Plus 1 for Dan's obnoxious smugness when he finds his girls bonding...
- Blair says to her mirror: "I command myself not to be pregnant." Seem fake? Try being gay in high school and then see how easy it is not to give ultimatums to your reflection. Plus 4.
Blair : "I command my self not to be pregnant"
(I mean who wouldn't freak out if you about to find out whether you will have Chuck Bass's baby)
- Blair's headbands get bigger and bigger. It's like she's wearing the Goddamn Prada turban. Plus 2. Maybe it is holding in all of her feelings
- Kudos to the adults for calling Chuck "Charles." Usually you save a child's full name for occasions when he is in severe trouble. But what do you call the kid who is bad all the time? Plus 3 (My favorite!! Kudos Lily!!)
- Plus 4 for the fact that everyone at the end ends up with a completely different person: Serena with Nate, Dan with Vanessa, Blair and Random Guy, Chuck and LYDIA HEARST (whom we will never be able to think of as "Amelia"). Even though it bums us out for Blair, it also makes sense that it would take Chuck exactly one week before becoming a twat again. These are teenagers after all! Their loyalties shift, and their loins flare, at the merest breeze.
- Blair goes to a Catholic priest for confession? First of all, what teenager would ever do that? You'd cry about it and tell your pets, because they wouldn't say anything judge-y, and that's what Angela Chase would have done Minus 3. Second, if she did d o it, she'd go to St. Patrick's
- Here's something. How can these kids have a huge important dress-up party every weekend? There was the Masquerade Ball, the brunch, Blair's birthday, Kiss on the Lips … it's like when we were 13 and there were bar mitzvahs every weekend. No humans could ever really keep that up without the aid of Shirley Temples, caricature artists, and Champagne Snowballs. Minus 2.
- In his first scene, is Chuck wearing a coat made out of pajamas? Minus 1
really chuck? get one of your Burberrys!!!
- If Blair really wants to keep her affair with Chuck a secret, is storming up to him while he's talking to someone else and shouting, "Enough with the blackmail! I can't avoid Nate forever!" in the thundering echo chamber that is an indoor pool really the best way to do it?Minus 1.
Blair : " I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO EVER FIND OUT ABOUT US!!"
Chuck "well Waldorf, stop screaming.."
- Blair's sleepover is "the most important event of the season." Wait, wasn't the big brunch the most important event of the season? Also, the Ivy mixer? And, we're just hazarding a guess, but isn't the masquerade ball we saw in the ads for the next episode also going to be the most important event of the season? Minus 3, because even Upper East Siders can count higher than one.
- Nate is always waking up on Chuck's hotel-room couch. But Chuck (who also implausibly drives to school in a stretch limo, so tacky) owns the hotel. Can't he get a suite with two beds? Or are we just preparing ourselves for some excellent bonus features on the unrated DVD set of the first season? Minus 3
Season II
- Real Points
- Marcus runs into Nate when he's jogging in Central Park. "I had a lot of things to think about," Nate says. This totally makes sense! Of course Nate can only think while running! It's probably because the air lifts his bangs off his face, relieving his head of a terrible burden! Bless him. Plus 1.
Nate taking his man bang for a run at the park
- The details of Blair's room when we see them in the day are really spot-on. There are little dolls on a bookcase behind her, and a purple fluffy stuffed animal, and those weird pastel box things that every teenage girl has. Of course later on she (Dorota?) transforms it into a full-on sex den with candelabras and actual chilled Champagne, which no actual teenager would ever do. Plus 1 only
- "Did you have a reason for coming to see me?" Chuck asks. "Because if it was to insult me, there's a Website you can go to." Plus 1, because it actually made us wonder if he was referring to Gossip Girl, or whether there was one specifically for Chuck Bass.
- Ed Westwick's performance of an angry, drunk, broken Chuck is a tour de force. Plus 3, for the way he manages to keep one eye closed the entire episode and even, at the end, turn entirely yellow.
emo chuck bass
- So, let's get into this Nate thing a little. It's kind of crazy how he turned into a douche in the last episode, just over the course of an afternoon. Let's review: He accepted the internship from his grandfather before telling Vanessa, with whom he had planned a vacation. He then acted like it was her fault she was upset, and like she was trying to hold him back from his family or something, even though it was Vanessa who made him get in touch with them in the first place. Then he maybe sorta cheated on her, didn't call her for a week, and showed up at their breakup meeting with a look on his face like, "Let's get this over with so I can go off and bang someone of my caste." Plus 10. TOTALLY realistic teenage-boy behavior.
come on guys, He is just a normal teenager, aren't all of them supposedly to be 18?, therefore their unrealistic behavior is acceptable.
- Okay, Blair is going way too far on the "Tell me you love me" thing. She knows Chuck loves her, it's in his face, and if she really loved him, that would be enough until she was able to control him and could force him to say it by merely withholding sex. But her lip-quivering is good. And the single tear! And then, when Chuck actually says it, it made it all worthwhile. Plus 3, because by all, we mean two years of watching the show, 456 headbands, and 128 paisley smoking jackets. At this point, Jessica's husband goes, "FINALLY."
- Not so Real or rather Confusing points
- We're confused. We're told Bart Bass died in a car accident on the way to meet Lily, but when last we saw him, he was in the car on the way to meet Lily, with private detective Andrew Tyler. Did he switch cars? How did Andrew Tyler get away without a scratch? Minus 20, because we should have some exposition other than "there was an accident.
- Wait, the Humphreys came from Brooklyn, had a family breakfast at Lily's, and got to school on time? What time did they have to wake up? Not Brooklyn time, certainly. Minus 3.
Jenny : "ehhm dad, where do live now? I mean we keep going to Lily's for breakfast and Humprey's loft for dinner"
- Why is Uncle Jack's (and later, Chuck's) office in the Palace? And why is it so small and crappy? Doesn’t Bass Industries have a building? Or, like, secretaries to sexually harass? Minus 4.
- Gossip Girl blogs: "While I'm always a fan of star-crossed lovers, at least Romeo and Juliet didn't share DNA." Minus 30 because DAN AND SERENA DON'T SHARE DNA! STOP MANUFACTURING THIS CONTROVERSY! (Achi's notes : my 2nd personal favorite, because me, myself keep thinking they are related)
Dan : "do We share the same DNA?"
Serena : "No moron!! we share a brother, I thought You were smarter than I am"
Dan : "I am sure it was a fluke..."
- Why would Blair and Nate look shocked to see Vanessa and Chuck at Jenny's party? Vanessa is a family friend, and Chuck lives there. Also, why would Vanessa and Chuck be shocked to see Nate and Blair? Haven't they noticed that those two are at every party they go to? Minus 5.
Blair : "why are they here? (reffering to Chuck and Vanessa)"
Nate : " how should I know?, I am confused most of the time, go ask the writers!!"
- What kind of parent, even Rufus, would try to force their kid to go to a debaucherous graduation party, a.k.a. a universally known date-rape circus? Minus 2.
After seeing all of this for more than 2 season I started to think Gossip Girl is actually comedy rather than drama...seriously...there are so many things on the show you can laugh at :D
